Hey all,

Here is a short blurb that should hopefully introduce me to the world.

My name is Radhika Arora. I'm not in a normal college like most of you but rather I'm in ITD which means Internal Transfer Division for all those who may be confused. I used to be a mechanical engineer but am transferring to Communication. It's going to be a big change but I already know I made the right decision for me. I'm in a Greek organization (Kappa Delta) which takes up most of my time apart from school and work. I love to read (I'm a total nerd at heart) and my favorite thing to do besides that is testing out new food. I hail from a tiny town near NYC called Chestnut Ridge, but my heart still belongs to my original hometowns, New Delhi, India and Kathmandu, Nepal. I was born on an ironic day. In America, my birthday is known as Black Monday, the day the Wall Street market crashed approximately 600 points. In India, however, I was born on Dhanteras, which is a holiday in which money is celebrated and everyone buys silver.

I love the Internet. It is one of my favorite pastimes. However, there are a lot of phenomenons concerning it that intrigue me. One of them in particular has to do with Internet Love. The idea of people falling in love after meeting in a chat room, or through a match making site among other channels has always aroused my curiosity.

The idea that people can fall in love without ever actually meeting each other first and foremost challenges one on what the definition of love actually is. If someone believes that love is a meeting of two souls that instantaneously recognize each other, then yes, love can be found over a computer mediated interaction. However, if one defines love as getting to know someone through their words, actions and reactions, then no, love cannot be found over the Internet. The idea of true love found without a face to face interaction tugs on my heart since it allows for two people to love each other for their personalities (i.e. who they truly are) without allowing any prejudices. However, the cynic in me cannot believe that a person can be truly honest while interacting in a computer mediated environment.

Some may offer up the criticism that sometimes these people talk on the phone. Again, the phone is a technological mediated environment that takes away many of the factors we use in order to get to know a person such as body language.

Others may offer up the criticism that there is always web cam, or video conferencing. However, these can also be manipulated to the advantage or disadvantage of someone.

Putting aside the philosophical discussion of what love truly is as well as the problems with technology mediated interactions, I wanted to describe to you a few different scenarios that I personally have seen people go through when dealing with online love. The first one of course being the truly Utopian version

The Perfect Scenario - this is the scenario that all of us dream about when thinking about online love.

Person A and Person B meet online. They start talking. It starts off slow but soon they are talking every night about anything and everything. They soon transition to phone calls and even using the web cam sometimes. They decide on a meeting date. They meet, and it was as they dreamed, perfect!

This scenario almost never happens! The next couple of examples are more likely.

Person A and Person B meet online. They talk extensively using all forms of technology. They start dating, and almost immediately are telling each other that this is love. They visit each other rarely but only due to the actual distance between them. One day, Person A finds out that Person B had been lying all along. Person B actually had someone else and had not been in love at all.

Person A and Person B meet online. They get along very well. They are both teenagers who have much in common. A couple months pass by. Person B is pushing for a meeting. Person A is extremely hesitant but gives in eventually. When they meet in person, Person A realizes that Person B is in actuality a pedophile who was just looking for a teenager to manipulate.

These examples show why technology mediated interactions are just not enough to fall in love. In these interactions, there is always time to formulate answers, giving the person time to actually think before speaking. This causes the receiver to get a untrue perception of the sender.
There are quite a few online spaces that online dating can take place in. One being the world wide web with sites such as match.com. Another is electronic mail (e-mail) as many people use e-mail to send messages back and forth. Another is synchronous chats such as IM which is used by people to interact with each other almost simultaneously (real time). Lastly we have interactive video and voice which allows people to hear and see each other.

Hope you guys enjoyed my little (well maybe not so much) introduction to the world of online dating.