Everyone knows that there are certain standards to follow on Facebook, and when someone doesn’t conform to the norm, they have to expect that someone will express their opinion in the form of a reproach. Although the norms are not clearly stated, they are expected. One thing that really bothers me on Facebook is when someone says that they have a birthday that is different from their real date of birth. The birthday notification is extremely helpful and considered to be reliable. However, when someone puts a fake birthday, it questions the reliability and can ultimately make you look foolish. About a month ago, I looked at the upcoming birthdays and saw the name of a person whose birthday was clearly not on that day. When the day of the faux birthday arrived, I saw that there were multiple wall posts wishing a happy birthday. Obviously these people were not the closest of friends but until there was a response on the wall saying, “Dude, it’s not your birthday,” those people that posted were made to look like fools. After the reproach calling for the truth was written, the birth date was changed to the real one almost immediately after. The norm that was breached in this situation was factual errors. This person was called out on their wrong and therefore, felt compelled to change it, which shows that the reproach was successful. Although this may have just been a joke, the reproach may have been in line with the need to conform to the rest of Facebook users. As far as I know, almost everyone gives their real birthday and therefore, especially after being targeted for it, there is a need to conform to the norms.
Another instance of incorrect Facebook behavior is when a certain “friend” invites you to join too many groups and to participate in too many events. When this person that I am not even close to is constantly asking me, and I have no interest in anything, there is only one way to get rid of this annoyance. Since most times these invitations will just be sent to every friend, and it won’t be realized that every time my response is a rejection, the only solution is to defriend this person. Although it may seem extreme, I have no need for all these unwanted invitations and I don’t even know why we are “friends” in the first place. The norm that was breached in this situation is bandwidth waste. Her requests to me are completely unnecessary and useless and her presence on my newsfeed about her creation of each group or event just adds clutter. Therefore, my reproach is in the form of a defriending, which is ultimately a success because she is no longer present in my Facebook world. In this manner, I am a moderator of my own Facebook account and I can choose who I want to see and hear information from. Although there is no “sign on the door” indicating that I think this is wrong, if someone continuously does something I don’t like, defriending is a quick and easy way to rid them from my online life.
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Hi, when I use facebook, I also find these problems, especially the second one. Sometimes you have to link to another webpage to see what the activity or the group really is. But sometimes it is not so easy, for the information is sometimes too vague that you don't really what it is. So after wasting so much time, i always decide just to close the webpage with impatience. And i think your method is great and will work out well. Sometimes I check the friends list, i find there are many people i really don't know, not even met, not even know why i add them to my facebook. So I think I may follow your way later on. Just clear the facebook and make it clean
I once played with the idea of changing my facebook birthday to Halloween- it's my favorite holiday. But i never actually did it (although it would be my dream come true.) So I think you raise a very good point here- and the fact that I didn't change my birthday proves it. There are so many norms on facebook that are self imposed, and unlike a lot of other media, the reproaches on facebook are even more personal because they come from your "friends." It would be interesting to do a study on what reproaches work better- and does the source even matter? The whole concept you brought up also makes me wonder how much I know my facebook friends. I probably couldn't point out fake birthdays for 90% of them.
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