Assignment 5: Relationship development through CMC Interactions

I met this boy Steve at a party sophomore year and thought that he was really cute. After that night, we randomly made out when we saw each other out at night, and things carried on this way until first semester junior year. I didn’t really get to know him as a person and a relationship never developed further from this point because we only interacted in a loud environment, at either at a party or a bar, where it’s really difficult to engage in deep conversation. Up until this point, we never spoke outside of this context (through any type of mediated communication), and I only thought of this as a little fling.
Second semester junior year I studied abroad in Spain, and had no contact with Steve for the entire time that I was away (which was about 5 months). However, when I returned to U.S., I visited Cornell for Slope day and saw Steve. I don’t know what changed this time because it seemed like every other interaction I’ve had with him, but after I left Cornell that weekend, he decided to text message me. The following 4 months, we spoke on a consistent basis through instant messaging and text messaging, but never actually saw each other because he was in California and I was in New York. Eventually we started to talk on the phone, and when we both returned to Cornell this semester, we have hung out almost every day.
I think that Wallace’s proximity principle of attraction applies in this particular situation. The proximity principle of attraction states that familiarity breeds attraction. In CMC interactions, familiarity flows from intersection frequency. For example, the more a person speaks to another person in an online chat room, the more familiar one will become with that person, and that person will become significantly more attractive. In my relationship with Steve, the more that I spoke with him, whether it was through IMs, text messages, or on the phone, the more I got to know him, and the more I liked him.
Wallace’s disinhibition effect also pertains to my relationship with Steve. This states that as a relationship develops, there is an increased amount if self disclosure. The more that Steve and I spoke, the more comfortable we became with each other and were willing to share personal information about ourselves. Our relationship blossomed as a result of our increased interactions through CMC communication media over an extended period of time.