5 - opt 1: "lets keep in touch" - home friends and college friends

As college students, we can all identify with at least a few long distance relationships we have in common. We all have parents back home and we all have a completely different set of friends, at different colleges scattered around the country. I would like to focus this post on those friends back home. We all say it, at some point right before you left for college the phrase, “let’s keep in touch” was uttered. For me, and probably many other college students, this was not a reality. There are a handful of friends back home who I do remain friendly with, but for the most part those semi-close to distant friends have all but vanished out of my life. Now, what can account for this? I blame Wallace’s (1999) attraction factors, namely proximity and common ground.
First, I’ll take a look at those friends who nearly vanished out of my life. It was these friends who throughout high school I saw a decent amount and hung out with on occasion but definitely considered them to be a friend. I wouldn’t call them up every weekend or meet them for lunch during every lunch break, but we certainly had all the necessary ways of contacted each other (screen name and cell phone number). At graduation party after graduation party and those dwindling summer nights, these people were definitely, in my mind, worthy of a “lets stay in touch.” However, I believe primarily due to a lack of proximity and a lack of a very solid common ground, we lost touch. As I went off to college and my friends went to their parts of the country, proximity to one another decreased. Sure we could talk on aim, but we no longer saw each other, experienced the same things, or shared friends, teachers, classes, etc. Wallace says that the closer you are to someone, the more attracted you will become towards that person. Clearly, proximity diminished during the transfer from high school to college.
The distinction between these friends and those friends who I remain in touch with lies within the common ground attraction factor, also described by Wallace. Wallace (1999) explains common ground as mutually shared beliefs, assumptions, and presumptions and further states that you are more attracted to those people with whom you share this common ground. Now, my closer and closest friends, just like my more distant friends also went to all corners of the country, however we had much more common ground. Despite a decrease of proximity, we remained to have similar beliefs, thoughts, and interests. This enabled us to continue to enjoy having conversations, and allowed an easy flow of information, story telling, and intellectual debate/discussion. Ultimately in fact, our common ground enabled almost a mesh of college friends and home friends when I put my home friends in touch, by CMC, with some of my closest college friends who also shared a common ground. By having a strong common ground, the proximity factor didn’t matter as much.