I had trouble finding a really good story online to use about the transition from online to face-to-face, so I’m going to base this on personal experience. Last summer, one of my friends informed me that her friend, Jason, had been saying that he thought that she should set him up with me. I had met Jason twice before at parties, but we hadn’t really talked and I barely knew him. As I’m sure many others would do in this situation, I Facebooked him to try to determine if I would like him. Based on the limited information he had in his Facebook profile, I thought he would be funny with perhaps a slightly offbeat sense of humor. We exchanged a few messages on Facebook and my initial impression of him was confirmed. I thought it might be fun to get to know him in person, but nothing really ever came of it because he didn’t end up replying to the last message I sent him. I wasn’t too broken up by the whole thing because we had just been casually chatting.
I only found out how lucky I had been that he never actually suggested that we go out a few weeks later when a group of my friends and I somehow ended up eating together at a restaurant with him and a few of his friends. To say that he was obnoxious would be an understatement. He desperately needed to be the center of attention. There were probably 7 or 8 of us eating together, but no one could get a word in edgewise as Jason monopolized the conversation. I had thought he was funny when I talked to him online, but in real life, it was clear that he was only capable of amusing himself.
Hyperpersonal theory seems to describe this (almost) relationship fairly well. Consistent with this theory, meeting face to face produced a negative outcome. With relatively few cues online, I formed a stereotyped impression of him based off of only a few characteristics. I thought that he was funny but I didn’t know that in addition, he was a self-aggrandizing attention whore. Moving offline didn’t lead to enhancement effects in our relationship, even though it was short-term as predicted by Ramirez and Wang. I think that selective self-presentation played a huge role in my positive perception of Jason before meeting him. Online, he tempered his personality. Offline, it was too much for me to handle.
5 comments:
I think the example you use really illustrates the prediction made by the Hyperpersonal model and you do a great job tying your experience in with the theory. You raise a really good point when you explain how the fewer cues in online environments don’t allow us to see as many aspects about a person, especially how they actually interact with other people in face to face situations. I think your experience also helps to explain part of the findings from Hancock and Dunham’s article that we discussed back in August where they found that individuals didn’t rate their partner as often on scales for neuroticism, extroversion, and agreeableness; all of which involve people interacting with one another. Good job.
I find myself interested in knowing more about this situation after reading it. I really would like to know exactly what the emails you two sent each other were like and just how and about what he worded his emails. I know people like this and mostly online its all about them, they have no questions about others or interest in others lives besides themselves. I this is an awesome example you provided, it really supports how the lack of cues online can really throw off an image of another person's real life personality. Although it is unfortunate this was such a bad experience I wouldn’t suggest giving up meeting people online, some of the most supportive and interesting people I know I have met online.
http://comm245green.blogspot.com/2007/11/110-roommate-from-hell.html
http://comm245green.blogspot.com/2007/11/a11-heidi-exits-aircraft-becomes-don.html
I think this is a great example for the hyperpersonal theory, and this example is just interesting. I find it a lot that people who seems to be very fuuny online is really a geek when turn into real life. I don't know why, but this seems to happen a lot. We sometime emplify the limited profiles others provide online, and get our own conclusion due to our preference. This explains much of what happens sometimes.
Hey Sarah, great story to really exemplify the hyperpersonal model. It’s so common place today to first “Facebook” someone, form an opinion about that person, and then decide what action to take. People don’t always think about how the hyperpersonal model could predict the future (obviously, since they haven’t taken this course). The large majority of the time, people assume profiles match personality. Due to fewer cues, it’s simply impossible to know that, for example, though Jason was funny, he was also obnoxious. Your experience taught you this, before you even learned the theory! Nice post.
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